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	<title>Concepts in the Paradox &#187; short stories</title>
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	<description>The writing of Mark Ballew</description>
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		<title>Zombies attack San Francisco!!!</title>
		<link>http://markballew.com/blog/2006/08/19/zombies-attack-san-francisco/</link>
		<comments>http://markballew.com/blog/2006/08/19/zombies-attack-san-francisco/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Aug 2006 04:15:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>MarkBallew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[activism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[doom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eatbrains]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eatbrains2006]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[geekery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[san francisco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zombies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://markballew.com/blog/2006/08/19/zombies-attack-san-francisco/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was on my way to return some items to CompUSA, when I noticed folks standing about Market Street with duct tape &#8220;X&#8221; symbols on them. &#8220;What could that mean?&#8221; I thought. I took a photo just in case it was a new fad.



A couple sporting duct tape

The Powell cable car turn around became very [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was on my way to return some items to CompUSA, when I noticed folks standing about Market Street with duct tape &#8220;X&#8221; symbols on them. &#8220;What could that mean?&#8221; I thought. I took a photo just in case it was a new fad.<br />
<LJ-cut text="Photo heavy post, please hold on"><br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1887.jpg"><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1887.jpg" border=2></A><br />
<DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">A couple sporting duct tape</DIV><br />
</DIV></p>
<p>The Powell cable car turn around became very silent, perhaps eerily so. Little did I know that such markings meant that they were the next to be attacked by zombies!<br />
<span id="more-75"></span><br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1912.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1912.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf19123jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1913.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1914.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1914.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1915.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1915.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1916.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1916.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1917.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1917.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><br />
<DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">Zombies devowering their brainy prey</DIV><br />
</DIV> </p>
<p>It was a sight to be seen. Luckly, I had decided to not wear duct tape that day, so I was simply sniffed for my brains, but not eaten and turned into one of those blood lusting fiends. There were other humans around, mostly tourists, but there was one man who knew that the zombies were there because our <i>sins</i>. God hates zombies, after all.<br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1922.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1922.jpg"></A><br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1921.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1921.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1923.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1923.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><br />
</DIV><DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">God hates zombies protester (he was later eaten)</DIV></DIV></p>
<p>Sensing fresh brains near by, the hord of zombies headed up Powell Street&#8230;<br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1933.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1933.jpg" border="1"></a><a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1938.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1938.jpg" border="1"></a><a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1941.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1941.jpg" border="1"></a><br />
<a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1944.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1944.jpg" border="1"></a><a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1934.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1934.jpg" border="1"></a><a href="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1948.jpg"><img src="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/.thumbdscf1948.jpg" border="1"></a><br />
<DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">The zombies head up Powell in search of fresh brains</DIV><br />
</DIV></p>
<p>From there they crowded on to Union Square, where a band happened to be playing. From there they frenzied into a dance while consuming duct-taped victums. It was chaos, pure chaos, but luckily I survived to bring you this photographic evidence.<br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1968.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1968.jpg"></A><br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1979.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1979.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1985.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1985.jpg" height=180 width=240></A><br />
</DIV><DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">The final frenzy and brain eating spree</DIV></DIV><br />
<P>After this horrific photography of todays events, you must be wondering, <i>How can I prevent zombie attacks? What do I do in the event a zombie horde appears while I&#8217;m shopping?</i></p>
<p>First of all, don&#8217;t panic.</p>
<p>Second of all, make sure you&#8217;ve memorized the <A HREF="http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A6875715">How to Survive a Zombie Attack</A> guide.</p>
<p>Three, <A HREF="http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/the-zombie-preparedness-kit-195294.php">have your preparedness kit.</A></p>
<p>And finally, watch your local news for zombie-related events.<br />
<DIV align=center><br />
<A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/dscf1990.jpg" ><IMG SRC="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/meddscf1990.jpg"></A><br />
<DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">Tune into <A HREF="http://www.geekentertainment.tv/">GETV</A> for late breaking zombie news </DIV></DIV></p>
<p><DIV align=center style="font-size: x-small">Photos (c) Mark Ballew, Meme created by <A HREF="http://eatbrains.com">EatBrains</A>. <A HREF="http://sf.pi.cx/zombies/eatbrains/06/">See complete photo set.</A></DIV></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>14 seconds on the elevator, 14 minutes on Muni</title>
		<link>http://markballew.com/blog/2006/06/06/14-seconds-on-the-elevator-14-minutes-on-muni/</link>
		<comments>http://markballew.com/blog/2006/06/06/14-seconds-on-the-elevator-14-minutes-on-muni/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Jun 2006 12:02:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ballew</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[muni]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reading]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short stories]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://markballew.com/blog/2006/06/06/14-seconds-on-the-elevator-14-minutes-on-muni/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The door opened, and everyone in the elevator was laughing. I stepped in, and listened in to find out what was so amusing.
&#8220;14 you say?!&#8221; one woman said.
&#8220;Yes, just 14, can you believe it?&#8221; another man responded.
&#8220;Wow, 14!&#8221;, another man said, and then another round of laughing.
&#8220;I just can&#8217;t imagine, you know, 14.&#8221; the woman [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The door opened, and everyone in the elevator was laughing. I stepped in, and listened in to find out what was so amusing.</p>
<p>&#8220;14 you say?!&#8221; one woman said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Yes, just 14, can you believe it?&#8221; another man responded.</p>
<p>&#8220;Wow, 14!&#8221;, another man said, and then another round of laughing.</p>
<p>&#8220;I just can&#8217;t imagine, you know, 14.&#8221; the woman reiterated.</p>
<p>The door opened to my floor, and as I exited I tried to make one more attempt to figure out what this mysterious &#8220;14&#8243; related to.</p>
<p>Alas, as the door closed all I heard was &#8220;Man&#8230; 14. Geez&#8221;.</p>
<hr />
<p>I had a sleeping buddy on the bus ride home. Shortly after getting on at Market, an early-30&#8217;s professional woman took a seat next to me. Short hair, too much makeup, Kaki pants, a business coat, white blouse, and a leather purse, she looked like she did some sort of middle management, or some other mind-numbing career in the financial district. I was too engrossed in my book, <a HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1862077614/104-9294982-6869512?v=glance">Rats</a>, hoping to finish the last chapter during my 14 minute ride home to notice this woman had completely fallen asleep. </p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t take notice until her head was resting gently on my shoulder, the slightest dab of sleepy drool oozing from her lip. The bus would hit a bump, take a turn, or make a classic Muni &#8220;Gas+brake&#8221; maneuver, and she&#8217;d nod awake for a second, try to rest her face in her palm in a manner that looked like she was deep in thought, then fall right back over onto my shoulder. I thought about waking her, but the ring on her finger looked like more than a year of my pay, so I just elected to enjoy a sleepy traveler using me as a pillow.</p>
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